Jasper... almost.

Oh it was just so fun last time. I think I will blog again. Since I last blogged I had some entertaining things happen to me. And looky there. It just so happens this is shaping up to be another Acrostic poem. And in honor of twilight… The poem is JASPER.

J- Jump Its Bones. I have a very feminist teacher here at good ole BYU. I actually love her but the woman is very serious, very feminist, and wants nothing more than to be taken seriously as a female professor. As of late however I have found it hard to do so. She recently gave us a summary of our next assignment and at the end concluded, “well that is the quick and dirty.” And I must hand it to her… it was dirty. And to top it all off in the same day she challenged us to get excited about our paper, have no fear and … “Jump its bones.” This project is shaping up to be a good time.

A- Arcade. My boyfriend Ryan and I recently went to the nickelcade here in provo. We had a gay old time shooting things and riding things(that’s what she said) and throwing things. Mostly however I appreciated that the man at the register handed us a little clear plastic baggy full of nickels. I called it my dime bag and pretended to smoke it. Ha ha dime bag. Yep still funny.

S- Spanish speakers. I went out to my jeep the other day to discover that my car was blocked in by a riding lawn mower. I at first just tried to move it. No go. Well there were these guys across the road leaf blowing. So I ran across to ask them to move it. After about five minutes of rambling about them moving it I realized they speak only Spanish. I then proceed to mime what I want. Nope. Nothing. As I walked away they had all gathered around the one guy I had talked to. I am sure they were discussing how stinking crazy that girl with the hand gestures was. Needless to say I was stuck home for hours. But those maintenance guys laughed enough I counted it as my good deed for the day.

P- Pain. (I needed a P word, so shoot me.) I hate pain. Hate hate hate it. My boyfriend’s new favorite activity is making me work out… occasionally at six in the morning. Torture. But pain has always been my enemy. As a child I hated shots for this very reason. I have fainted, thrown up and quite unsuccessfully tried to negotiate my way out of shots. When I was about ten, my mother took me to the doctor’s office. They brought in the shot, and I very calmly said to the nurse, “Thank you but I don’t think we will be doing this today.” My cordiality was not rewarded. My next plan after that didn’t work, was escape. In the end it took two nurses and my mother to restrain me so that that could stick that sharp piece of metal in my arm.

This is already too long. And as aforementioned I hate being predictable. So I will end at JASP. Which In my head stands for John Always Supports PETA. And if you know my brother this is the funniest statement of all.

And it begins...

So.

My favorite person in the world is a blogger. And since she is my idol... i do believe i will copy Tstarr and start myself a blog. So here is how this is going to go. I just going to tell you about my life and since I am hilarious I assume you will enjoy it. But let's start with a little introduction by way of acrostic poem.

D- Diet Coke. I am more than a little addicted to Diet Coke. The people at the Mcdonald's here in provo know me by name... we even have inside jokes... because of the fact that i visit them so frequently to receive my daily dosage of the nectar of the gods. My classmates often ask me when i am cranky and tired why I don't have my coke with me. Also let's keep this first thing a secret. My mom already gives me daily lectures on the matter and she doesn't even know the severity of it, we don't want her flying out here to stage an intervention now do we.

A- Academic. I currently attend BYU. But please. Let's not judge my sass level on the fact that i attend the Stone Cold Sober University. I am the first to admit I tend to stray into the TOO SASSY category more often than the well behaved and polite one. :) I think its endearing really.

N- Normalcy is overrated. I consider myself a little bit of a quirky little duck. In fact lately someone commented to one of my friends that they just couldn't like me because I was just "so out there" I considered this the highest of compliments. I would rather be half wild, as my dad calls me, then completely boring.

G- Girl. I am in fact female.

E- Educate. Now this is not to be confused with academic for here i plan to tell you that i am going to be a teacher. I think I decided I wanted to work the rest of my life with kids when i was working at my summer job where I work with kids who have special needs. Having been bit, tackled, having to call poison control after luke ate a massive amount of glue and streamers, ran down a renegade naked kid, and been told my eye shadow made me look like a scary monster in a horror movie, I fell in love!

R- Royalty. I am a princess. As a child I used to believe I was a princess who had seven sisters all whose names started with T (tami ... toni... you get the picture) and my royal parents had sent me to my family as a test to see if I could weather the trials of a non-royal life style before I was allowed to be the queen. So whenever I was sent to my room or got in trouble I would think to myself, "My real mother and father love me and one day they will come and take me to the castle and I will be their queen." How's that for not fully embracing reality!

And done. I do believe you have learned nothing about me and I have deduced acrostic peom is a terrible way to get to know someone. But you never know until you try! :) Now I feel as though this should end with some kind of sign off. But I hate to be predictable so...